What is group dynamics, and why isn’t it the same thing as getting along?

It’s quite easy to look at a group that laughs together, has a beer after work and seems to be having fun, and think: this is a good group.

Sure, getting along is important. But group dynamics is something more.

It’s about what actually happens between us when we need to accomplish something together.

Do I dare tell you that your idea doesn’t hold up? Can you say the same thing to me without me becoming defensive?

I’ve learned something about myself. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m a middle child, or just marinated in Swedish consensus culture, but for a long time it was important to me always to be so well prepared that there would be no disagreements. I thought: How are we supposed to work together if we don’t agree with each other? Since then, I’ve learned that if we agree from the start, we’ll never create anything new or improve anything. So we need to be able to disagree, and to do that, we need good relationships.

That’s also why I think we sometimes oversimplify the discussion about teams and culture. We measure quite a lot. Well-being, engagement and, in some cases, psychological safety at the individual level. But there is rarely much focus on what is happening in all the small relationships between the people in the group.

Our relationships affect which ideas are voiced, how criticism is received, who dares to ask for help and how much we actually demand of each other.

So group dynamics isn’t just about whether we enjoy being together.

It’s about whether our relationships help us become better together.

So what does it look like in your group: Do you just get along well, or can your colleague tear your idea apart in the afternoon and you still grab a beer together that evening?